$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
