Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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