I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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