when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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