Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
