Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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