11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
