If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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