just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is