There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
