You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
