Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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