I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize