He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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