are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You're breaking my sexual little heart
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
