Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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