Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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