Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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