And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
