trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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