i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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