id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
