i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We got so high we made milksteak
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
