I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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