We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
