Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
