Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
