She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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