That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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