awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
