I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
