Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
