Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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