just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
