Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
