Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
