I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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