So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How's work?
Spinning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
