when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
