so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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