I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
