Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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