I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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