im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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