i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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