and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
