? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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