i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
