I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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