Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We just shotgunned beers for America
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
