My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
