Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
