i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
