I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
