Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
