Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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