She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
its not stalking. its research.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
