No stitches, just platelets and will power
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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