she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
