Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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