Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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