what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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