you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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