He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
