is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
