Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
